But my body refuses to sleep. And with good reason! You see I’m expecting an e-mail very soon from the National Matching Service. They are in charge with matching psychology graduate students (e.g., me) to national internships. These internships last about a year and are, usually, the last requirement of many psychology graduate programs before a degree can be conferred. But the problem is that the entire process is very competitive. Often very talented, bright people find that they have not matched to an internship program. So they have to repeat a year of graduate training and start the expensive and stress-inducing application/interview process all over again.
So here I was, knowing all of this and knowing that I had spent all of my savings on fees, travel, hotels and a business suit. I had prepared for every interview question, written and rewritten my essays, and gotten the best recommendations I could find. And now all I can do is wait.
Letting God and Trusting God
And then I remember that I’ve been here before. I’ve been in situations when I’ve done everything that is humanly possible and the only way to make it through is by relying on God. So I let go of every attempt that I’m making to fall to sleep and just pray. I don’t know if letting go and trusting God will ever become automatic for me. Maybe one day. But I do know this: I WAS able to fall asleep that night. And it was while reciting the lines of one of my favorite biblical passages:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:25-26, NIV).
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