Tuesday, November 12 2019 - 12:36 AM
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A Little Strange

I feel a little strange. Strange because now that my primary source of stress (my dissertation proposal) is over, I’m well rested and I’m not in a hurry. Strange because I’ve had a full breakfast, my hair is washed and I have time to play with my puppy. Strange because the clothes I was wearing actually came out of the closet and not from the pile of clean clothes on my bedroom floor.

Now before you go judging me, let me just say that during that very stressful time of my life I did manage to regularly wash my clothes. I was, however, unable to put them away and, consequently, the clean clothes pile was born. Unfortunately, this was in rather close proximity to the dirty clothes pile and as the weeks progressed both seemed to merge into what I call a Clint Eastwood. Every time I reached for an article of clothing I had to ask myself one question, “Do I feel lucky?”

I digress.

I think what really feels so strange is that I no longer have a sense of urgency. Not only because my deadlines were met and are now behind me, but because the urgency with which I went to God is no longer there. You see, when things are a mess, that’s when my faith comes alive. I know how to cling to Jesus in the hard times. But what about those moment when I have it all together? I don’t want to be the type of person who has an in case of emergency God. But at this moment it’s so easy to say, “Thanks for the ride, God. I’ve got it from here.” I’ve done it so many so times before.

But not this time. During the past few months, I’ve seen the hand of God move too obviously and I have seen his glory too clearly that I am NOT willing to let him go.

So I choose to shout and sing. Miriam did it after the Israelites crossed the Red Sea; David did it when the Ark of the Covenant was returned to Jerusalem. And I do it now. I do it with a sense of urgency that comes not from a need to receive, but a need to pour out what has been poured into me. I shout because I was given a voice and I sing because I was given a song.

So I’m gonna sing. I’m gonna shout. Praise the Lord!

“Sing to the Lord, for he has done wonderful things. Make known his praise around the world. Let all the people of Jerusalem shout his praise with joy” (Isaiah 12:5-6, NLT).

Jael Amador writes from New York.

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About Jael Amador

Jael Amador

writes from New York, New York.

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