A Quiet Fight

It happens inside of me. Others around may or may not suspect this, but I always want to start with prayer when I wake up. I want to praise God for the life that flows through me. I want to thank Him for the sun that is coming over the horizon again. I want to pray the Scriptures and write them in my heart so that I don’t sin against God. I want to seek God’s forgiveness and become His conduit so that His love flows through me. But that’s not what happens.

Just as I get “Dear Heavenly Father” out of my mind, my “to do” list floods my mind. My fight with the day has begun. Then a pain in my right foot starts to throb just a little. And then my cat comes in, sits right in front of me, and starts to meow about whatever. By the time my mind chases these distractions, prayer time has slipped silently away. And, of course, it’s time to get up and get ready for work.

Daily Trials

And it happens almost every morning. As I go through my day, I face all sorts of trials and inner fights. I can call on God and ask Him to strengthen me and teach me at this moment. But that is not what I do. When I am driving to work, and someone cuts me off, I scowl. When I get to work and realize I have an assignment due that I didn’t do and my supervisor needs it in 30 minutes, the pressure on the inside rises. And just as I walk past a wooden crate, I bang my little toe against it. The pain pulses, and now I am hobbling. My attitude turns sour for the rest of the day.

In the evening, I look over my day and wonder, why does this happen so often?  Because I didn’t spend time in His word. I mumbled quick prayers and then had no spiritual strength.  So I repent and ask God to help me to do better.

The Fight Within

The fight within seems to rage even when I don’t notice. I find my mind in places that I did not plan to be. I’ve run across several texts in the Bible that shed light on the fight, but somehow, I don’t seem to connect them to the moments of my day.

When Peter tells me that the enemy of my soul walks around looking for an opportunity to devour me like a lion devours the prey, it is a serious warning. Peter also challenges me to stay alert and watch carefully for those moments (See Peter 5:8).

My prayer is that when I open my eyes, I seek Him first to set the pace for my day and prepare me for whatever is before me. I am determined to meditate on His word so that it is written in my heart, my thoughts, and my character. Then I will have what it takes to help me overcome the broken places within me. I can win the fight within through Christ.

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Pamela Williams writes from Southern California.

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