Sometimes I Doubt

Dear God: I was hit with a surging wave of doubt today. About You. Please forgive me, but I’m sometimes bombarded by the fact that everything about You, every claim You make, is invisible and has to be taken on faith. That You exist. That the Bible lessons my parents made me study are true and not a case of massive group hypnosis. Sometimes I doubt that heaven is actually out there. That I’ll have another life, an eternal one, after they drive me to the cemetery.

It feels like I have to choose—every single day—to not be an atheist! And I do choose not to be one, but today it was an exercise of pure will and not much heart.

Please know that I do choose to love You. And that I try each day to think about the good evidences that my Christian faith is based on. But I need Your help. Like that frustrated father who cried to You: “I do believe—sort of. Help my doubt and unbelief.”

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

David B. Smith writes from Southern California.

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