Finding Truth Through Loss

Experiencing the loss of a loved one can really jumpstart faith. When we lost one of our little preemie twins, Isabella, at 26 weeks, the whole wide world came to a crashing stop. I couldn’t even comprehend what loss I felt, the emptiness, or the complete shock, so I rushed into my Bible to stabilize. I started out in Psalms and then flipped randomly here and there and everywhere. It was calming. It got me through the first month of grief.

But more than that, I found that not only were the promises—especially those about life after death and living together forever—helpful, I also realized that they permeated everything. Clearly, I had read all these before, but like a third grader minutes away from recess, I’d never paid attention. Now they screamed at me from the page, cutting through my deepest sadness into my numb heart, and giving me good solid prods to get back into the land of the living.

Life and the Bible

This is how life and the Bible team up to lead us to God and the reality all around us we cannot see. Whether it’s a devastating loss, an irritating co-worker, a lovely sunset, or anything in between, our lives, if strained through the words of God, can be deeply touched and enlightened by the freedom that comes from internalizing His relevant truths.

For me, the loss of Bella was a huge wakeup call. I had been all locked into this world like it was everything. Sure, I believed the whole point of Christianity—that Jesus had figured out how to give us access to Heaven and eternal life—but I hadn’t been living my life accordingly. Enter my little twins, and Bella’s subsequent exit, and suddenly my life was knit with Heaven. Suddenly the only way I could imagine her laughing and singing and playing was to get my mind into forever.

Gleaning Wisdom

I never chose this path, but I’ve decided to glean all the goodness and wisdom I can from it. Pain from loss can glue truth to one’s emotions like nothing else. And for me, turning to the Bible and God’s many promises about Heaven, has seared these teachings all over my soul. I can feel what Heaven will be like. I can almost taste it. And more than anything, I have reoriented my once 3D living to infinity and beyond. This is where I must live, because only then can the dead end I feel when I think of Bella morph into a million butterflies of expectation, impatience, and gratitude in my soul.

And ultimately, this has given me what I’ve sought my whole life. A deep and personal bond to Jesus that is as real as my tears and as tangible as my little pictures of Bella. If it weren’t for Jesus, there would only be 15 days to Bella’s life, end of story. But Jesus couldn’t live with that. Jesus came and died for all of us. Jesus came and died for Bella, paying the price because He knew that otherwise Bella would never get to celebrate her first birthday, play with her brother, or fall asleep in her mommy’s arms… oh, for Heaven sake… I can hardly wait!

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If you liked this, you might also like Unexplained Loss | Moving Forward: Dealing with Grief 

Claire Worley writes from the Pacific Northwest.

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