Adopting Lilyan

On a beautiful spring morning, March 26, 2007, a perfect little angel, Lilyan Rose, was born. Unfortunately, her home was a dangerous and unstable environment. When Lilyan was 11 months old, she witnessed her two-month-old sister, Anna, murdered by her mother. At this time, Lilyan was removed from the home and placed into foster care, and bounced from home to home for the next two years of her young life.

In January 2010, the courts ordered Lilyan to be put up for adoption as she would never be allowed to go home. I was approached to adopt Lilyan, then three years old, to keep her in the family. She is my great-niece and now my daughter.

Adaptation

But wait, I’m getting a little ahead of myself because the decision to adopt her was not an automatic “yes.” I was 47 years old, low income, single, and set in my ways. I’ve never had any children of my own and was not at all sure I could do this. Lilyan had many behavioral issues due to her bouncing around in the foster care system. I’d be 62 by the time she was 18. After much prayer about this, I believed this was God’s calling to give this little angel a home.

When she came to me in 2010, her tantrums were like nothing I’d ever seen. She made a tornado ripping through a trailer park look like a gentle summer breeze. She ripped all the wallpaper off her bedroom walls, shredded all her books, and destroyed every toy, and yelled, “I hate you and wish you were dead,” about 100 times a day. She scared me, and after three weeks of her kicking, biting, and screaming, I was ready to send her back. But God would not let me make that call for her return.

Desert Transformation

Lilyan and I have been traveling in a desert for the past year. It’s been what God has shown me, a transitional year for both Lilyan and me. She may have started as a formidable scorpion from which I tried to run. Today, she is a beautiful flower that just needed time to realize she is deeply loved, and I needed this time to transfer from singleness to parenthood. She now says, “I love you, Mommy,” all the time, and she is calm and peaceful.

The transformation that God has done in our lives is nothing short of a miracle. It would take me writing a book to share all the things God is doing in our lives, but this one thing is clear, I need Lilyan as much as she needs me. Having her in my life has shown me new depths of learning and depending on God for answers. Learning to love Lilyan helped me understand the kind of sacrificial love God has for me, Lilyan,  and all His children.

Adopting Lilyan has taught me it’s never too late to reach out to someone in need, and I’m never too old to be used for God. I need to allow God to use me and be open to what He wants, no matter how impossible or unlikely the calling may seem. God has a reason He does things the way He does.

If you liked this, you might also like The Cosmic Locator | 10 Things You Should Know About Adoption

Debbie Adams chronicles her journey of faith as she learns to follow God’s leading.

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