The one teeny tiny problem about our relationship is that Laurie never wants to know anything about me. Well, it was a teeny tiny problem before and now it’s become a huge problem. I really hate to admit it, but every time we have a conversation, the question that continually pops into my head is, “Will she ever stop talking?!” All Laurie does is talk about herself. For example, if I ask her how her day went, she’ll spend our entire time together answering my question, but never ask me how my day went. I mean, I thought that’s how conversations worked!
I’ve just arrived from dinner with Laurie and sat down on my couch to process what happened. Did I really not talk for a whole two hours?
As I processed and prayed, this verse came to mind:
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV).
And I complained as I prayed. “You see, Lord, in this verse you call us to be vulnerable to one another. But how am I supposed to be vulnerable if I’m not given the opportunity?!”
That’s when I realized that my entire friendship with Laurie was an opportunity for vulnerability. Every time I met with her, I had a chance to tell her that I was upset that she didn’t care to ask about my life in the same way that I asked about hers. I could’ve told her that it makes me feel sad and unimportant because every one of our conversations revolves around her.
Yes, telling her this could be scary and potentially lead to a difficult conversation. But maybe that difficult conversation could lead to growth in our friendship. And that’s what vulnerability is all about.
Jael Amador writes from New York, New York.© 2002 - 2021, AnswersForMe.org. All rights reserved. Click here for content usage information.