Conversations With Laurie

I want to start off this post by saying that I love my friend Laurie and that she is one of my closest friends. She was there for me during a very scary and lonely part of my life. We’ve bonded over our love of food, shoes, and musical theater. The one thing that made me really want to be her friend was her love of people! You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who cares about serving others more than Laurie. I’d also like to mention that Laurie is not her real name. I’ve chosen to give her a fake name for reasons that will become clearer as you read on.

The one teeny tiny problem about our relationship is that Laurie never wants to know anything about me. Well, it was a teeny tiny problem before and now it’s become a huge problem. I really hate to admit it, but every time we have a conversation, the question that continually pops into my head is, “Will she ever stop talking?!” All Laurie does is talk about herself. For example, if I ask her how her day went, she’ll spend our entire time together answering my question, but never ask me how my day went. I mean, I thought that’s how conversations worked!

I’ve just arrived from dinner with Laurie and sat down on my couch to process what happened. Did I really not talk for a whole two hours?

As I processed and prayed, this verse came to mind:

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV).

And I complained as I prayed. “You see, Lord, in this verse you call us to be vulnerable to one another. But how am I supposed to be vulnerable if I’m not given the opportunity?!”

That’s when I realized that my entire friendship with Laurie was an opportunity for vulnerability. Every time I met with her, I had a chance to tell her that I was upset that she didn’t care to ask about my life in the same way that I asked about hers. I could’ve told her that it makes me feel sad and unimportant because every one of our conversations revolves around her.

Yes, telling her this could be scary and potentially lead to a difficult conversation. But maybe that difficult conversation could lead to growth in our friendship. And that’s what vulnerability is all about.

Jael Amador writes from New York, New York.

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