Saturday, May 26 2018 - 1:15 PM
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The Struggle

When I write I have to create a “writing space” which consists of me removing everything from my desk, save my laptop, journal, and a few pens. I ensure that I am wearing pants with an elastic waistband, comfortable socks, and I grab my favorite earphones (from which I’ll blare classical music). Finally, I grab a mug of tea, add more cream and sugar than necessary or medically advisable, and set off writing.

Today, as I was in my writing space, I noticed something that I’ve probably done, unconsciously, a million times before. As I wrote I came to a paragraph that I couldn’t quite get a handle on and instead of attempting to work through the difficultly, I immediately popped over to my Internet browser and began scrolling through my favorite social media sites. Fifteen minutes later, I was exhausted from information overload and lost all motivation to finish what I had been working on. I felt really disappointed.

I was mostly disappointed because I felt that I had missed an opportunity. You see I’ve found that some of my best writing happens after I struggle through those difficult and uncomfortable times when I feel stuck. Sometimes to overcome creative hurtles I have to scream or pray or sit quietly. Sometimes I have to try and fail and try and fail. However, once I get to the other side of the discomfort, I realize that it was all worth it. But, it’s never fun to hit a wall creatively (or literally, I would imagine).

So, to avoid the discomfort, I’ve taken to distracting myself with social media and other forms of entertainment. But I’ve come to realize that, more often than not, God wants to meet me in the struggle and he calls me to fight rather than give up through distraction. So, in an effort to relearn how to work through those difficult moments, I’ve decided to go on a three-day social media fast. I mention this here partly to keep myself accountable and partly to extend to you, Reader, an invitation to join me. If you find something that is keeping you distracted and is draining you, maybe get rid of it. Just for a little while. And maybe in that time you’ll find the courage to fight. And maybe in that fight you’ll see the glory of God.

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (Genesis 32:22-26, 28, NIV).

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About Jael Amador

Jael Amador

writes from New York, New York.

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